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I Know What Awaits by Nico Wonderdust

Forget all the stories you hear of near-death experiences, forget all the tales of heaven and hell, put out of your mind the myth that you will either be met by St. Michael welcoming you through the pearly gates, or that you will have to spend all eternity choked by the smell of your own burning flesh as you walk naked through endless fields of hell fire.

For the past few years, I've been suffering from an illness that has baffled doctors across the globe, it started with an unbearable headache that would come and go at random intervals, some nights I would wake up with a blood soaked pillow and a searing pain in the from of my head as blood dripped front my nose.

I went to see my doctor and he was stumped, he prescribed me codeine for the headaches but even when I doubled or tripled the dose the headaches would remain. After a few months of this I began to get progressively worse, the nose bleeds would start during the day, accompanied by a shooting pain traveling through my nasal passage to my ears, within 6 months I would occasionally lose my sense of smell, hearing, and sight. 

The doctors concluded that my brain was in some way attacking itself, but they still couldn't work out what the exact cause was, or how to help me, they said that I would be dead within 12 months, and they were right, little did they know, I wouldn't stay dead. 

I have died a total of six times, each time for just a little bit longer before they manage to resuscitate me, each time I come back with a clearer image of what awaits, each time I wake up screaming until I lose my voice.

What does await us on the other side isn't eternal flames, nor is there a set of golden gates and angels in the distance, you don't stand hand in hand with family members past, but you don't spend the rest of time being eaten from the inside out by maggots while your skin melts and bones turn to ash, you won't meet God, nor the devil, angels nor demons, what awaits is simply... nothing.

Six times I have died and six times I have found myself in total darkness cut off from all my senses, I was alone in absolute silence, I couldn't feel the ground beneath me or walls around me, that place was completely devoid of any smells and I couldn't even taste the saliva in my mouth, I was left here all alone, feeling lost and scared, there was a building feeling of sheer panic, ever growing with no sign of change, and that's all there is.

I've been to the other side, I know exactly what awaits us all and I know it won't be long until I'm back there for all eternity...

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